This Boxing Day will mark seven years since the death of Sarah Warner’s beloved stepdad, Rob Holmes, who spent his last Christmas surrounded by his family at Ashgate Hospice’s Inpatient Unit. 

He died exactly six months after being diagnosed with lung cancer, aged just 56, after being admitted to Ashgate for end of life care on 22 December 2017.  

Sarah is grateful that she and her family were able to celebrate one last Christmas Day with Rob, as they tucked into a three-course festive dinner with wine and crackers, thanks to Ashgate’s catering team. 

The “warm” and “loving” care he received inspired Sarah to start volunteering on the hospice’s Inpatient Unit just three months later. 

And in 2018, when a Healthcare Assistant role became available, Sarah jumped at the opportunity to care for other families going through similar experiences that she had. 

Sarah, 49, who will be working on Christmas Day this year, said: “Ashgate made the hardest most heart-breaking Christmas of our lives that little bit brighter.  

“It’s true what people say when you enter Ashgate – you feel a sort of tranquillity and a big weight is automatically lifted off your shoulders. It was a truly special feeling. 

“From the doctors and nurses to the kitchen team and volunteers – they were all angels! On Christmas Day, they even came to Rob’s room and set out a table and chairs for me and my mum, before bringing us a three-course dinner plus wine and crackers. 

“By that time Rob was unresponsive, but it was such a lovely experience, and we were grateful to be able to make those final memories with him by our side.  

“Rob loved Christmas and he had been really looking forward to it, so it was nice to get our last one together, even if he didn’t get to go to the pub!” 

Despite the sadness of their situation, Sarah has many fond memories of their time spent at Ashgate, including that of a volunteer who made her laugh once again. 

She said: “I remember Christmas morning; I was coming back from the family room, and I looked up to see one of the volunteers wearing antlers and funny glasses!  

“It set me off laughing and my mum wondered what was going on. Shortly after, the volunteer came into the room, so she saw for herself. I thanked him for making me laugh when I didn’t think it was possible.

“When I came to work at Ashgate, I mentioned it to him, and he remembered straight away and gave me a cuddle. We even took a selfie together on the first Christmas Day I worked here, both with our antlers on.

“That’s where my love of Ashgate came from. I wanted to give something back which is why I started volunteering. My dream was one day to bag myself a job as a Healthcare Assistant – that was fulfilled far quicker than I ever anticipated.”

Tragically, 22 months after Rob’s death, his partner and Sarah’s mum, Elaine also died less than two weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer, aged 61.

Now Rob and Elaine are no longer here, Christmas can be a difficult time of year for Sarah, as she continues to navigate life without them.

Sarah said: “To lose my cockney hero, Rob, who in my heart felt like my dad, and then my beautiful brave mum in such a short amount of time was so completely shattering and life is still so different now. 

“The first Christmas after Rob died changed dramatically. By then I was working on the ward and was really struggling emotionally, my mum understandably didn’t want anything to do with Christmas at all; she didn’t even want us to visit which was hard.”

Sarah added: “When I’ve worked a shift on Christmas Day it can be a struggle at times, but all my colleagues are so supportive, and it turned into a really good shift with a brilliant atmosphere.

“But I do also think my experiences have made me even better at my job, as I’m able to understand and emphasise with people going through difficult experiences.”

In Sarah’s role as a Healthcare Assistant, she works alongside Ashgate’s doctors, nurses, physiotherapists and other hospice staff and volunteers to provide vital palliative and end of life care to families from across North Derbyshire.

Her duties include taking patient’s observations, personal hygiene care, assisting patients with their food and drink and engaging with families to ensure they are comfortable during their time at the hospice.

“There is no better satisfaction than being able to put a smile on someone’s face – this will forever be the most rewarding part of my job,” added Sarah. 

“My family are extremely proud of the fact that I work in a hospice. My mum loved Ashgate because of the care they provided to Rob.

“I recall the day I told her that I had got the job, she was lost for words, she didn’t say much she just had a beaming smile across her face. She was always proud to tell people where I worked!” 

Give the gift of care this festive season by supporting Ashgate Hospice’s Christmas Appeal online or by calling 01246 567250.