Sarah Thomas has been a volunteer and ambassador at Ashgate Hospice since 2017, following the death of her partner Jackie Waring, who received end of life care at the hospice.  

A passionate advocate for LGBT+ inclusion, Sarah regularly represents Ashgate at local Pride events, helping to show that hospice care can be compassionate, inclusive, and free from judgment.  

In this blog, she reflects on her personal experiences, from experiencing discrimination to the support she received at Ashgate. 

She tells us what Pride means to her, and why it remains such an important celebration of visibility, acceptance, and progress. 

Pride, for me, is about being visible. It’s about showing up – not just for ourselves but for those who might not feel safe or confident to. It’s a time to come together, reflect on the past and keep pushing for better. 

I’ve been volunteering with Ashgate Hospice since 2017 after my partner Jackie died in their care. We’d been together for 39 years. From the very beginning, they treated us as a true partnership. I was never made to feel like I wasn’t the most important person when it came to decisions about her care. They were very courteous in all aspects. The support I got from Ashgate was, and continues to be, superb. 

That’s not something I take for granted. Back in 1993, Jackie was in hospital with cancer. She’d previously chosen to get a tattoo, and with there being a stigma around gay people and HIV and AIDS at the time, they refused to care for her properly until she was tested. They barrier-nursed her and kept her in a separate room. It was only when I took a test and it came back negative that they finally removed their protective clothing. That wouldn’t have happened to a straight person. 

It’s those kinds of experiences that stick with you. I’ve heard other stories too – gay people whose partners were ignored in hospitals, even when they were clearly listed as next of kin. Instead, doctors wanted to speak to family members, as if the partner didn’t matter. That’s why I think it’s so important to say: Ashgate Hospice isn’t like that. 

Yes, things have improved in healthcare, but there’s still work to do. Ashgate has always gone the extra mile to meet people’s needs, whether it’s religious beliefs, cultural backgrounds, or your sexuality. That really matters at the end of life. If someone from the LGBT+ community needed hospice care, I’d say to them, as I would to anyone, you’re probably at a crossroads; life might be about to get tough; and you’ll need help, but Ashgate is a place that will accept you for who you are. 

I’m proud to be associated with Ashgate. There’s a bit of nostalgia too, because it’s where I said goodbye to Jackie. But I also feel genuinely proud – of what they stand for, and how they support people from all different backgrounds.  

That’s why representing the hospice at Pride celebrations each year means so much. I’ve had a lot of fun but it’s also a chance to reach people. By being there, we show that Ashgate is a place where you’ll be treated with respect and without judgment. 

There was one moment at a Pride stall that really stuck with me in particular. A man came along with his daughters and his teenage son, who was still figuring out his gender and sexuality. The dad was quite stiff and formal in his manner and didn’t seem entirely comfortable. His son was playing around with the dressing-up clothes, and at one point he put a big bow around his dad’s neck. I saw something shift; the dad started to relax. You could tell he loved his son but didn’t know how to talk to him. And somehow, in that silly, playful moment, a conversation began. Later, he came back and said: “Thank you for letting me start that conversation with my son.” That for me, is what Pride is all about. 

At Ashgate we are proud to have achieved Derbyshire LGBT+‘s Rainbow Accreditation award and are committed to providing compassionate and inclusive care to everyone who needs us in our community. Learn more about our commitment to inclusion on our website.