When Linda Fleming, now 62, and her husband Trevor were faced with the news of his early onset Alzheimer’s, their world shifted. What followed were years of love, heartbreak, and eventually, the care and support that allowed Linda to keep her promise to him: that he would stay at home, surrounded by the people who mattered most. 

Linda and Trevor had spent 33 years together in Eckington. Their home was full of laughter, warmth, and all those small moments that make life meaningful. 

Sadly, Trevor died on 6 May 2021. He was 76 years old.

A partnership full of love and laughter

Linda and Trevor’s relationship was one of joy, family, and the occasional “good hearty disagreement.” 

“Trev was older than me, though most people would’ve guessed the opposite!” Linda laughs. “He was fit, fun, and always on the go. He gave me confidence in everything I did. He taught me to drive, supported me through university, helped me care for my parents, all while we raised three children together.” 

Trevor was a proud engineer who loved holidays, a bit of sun, staying active and sharing stories that had everyone laughing. “He was shy, unless he was telling one of his stories. Then he came alive.” 

One summer, they even drove a Ford Probe with no air-con through the Alps to Italy, “for the love of cars, travel and definitely fun!” 

A diagnosis that changed everything

In 2018, Trevor began having trouble with his speech. As a nurse, Linda suspected something might be wrong. But nothing prepared them for the diagnosis that came, or how it was delivered. 

“We were told, very matter-of-factly: ‘You have early onset Alzheimer’s. You will die from this disease.’ That’s how they said it. No preparation. No compassion. It was devastating.” 

Trevor didn’t want to tell anyone at first, but as the disease progressed, they knew they couldn’t face it alone. They attended dementia support groups, talked openly about what was to come, and made plans. 

“I promised I wouldn’t leave him. That we’d face it together. I took early retirement so we could have some quality time, but in the end, we didn’t get as long as we hoped.” 

Then came Covid

Just as they were adapting to life with Trevor’s condition, the world shut down. Family visits stopped. Social contact disappeared. “It hit Trev hard. He declined a lot during lockdown.” 

His mobility worsened. He started to have chest infections and struggled to swallow. A short hospital stay left him confused and agitated, and when he became ill again, Linda and her family knew they needed help. 

“We wanted to keep him at home. That was always our plan. But he was in pain and we didn’t know what to do. That’s when Ashgate came into our lives.” 

When he became seriously unwell and reached end-stage Alzheimer’s, Linda and her family knew they needed professional support to care for him at home.  

Care that gave comfort and dignity

It was a paramedic who made the call that changed everything, getting Ashgate’s team involved so Trevor could get the care he needed, at home. 

“Helen came to see us. She was one of the nurse specialists from Ashgate. From the moment she walked in, everything felt calmer. She spoke to me, and to Trev – not just about him, but to him. Even though he couldn’t respond much, she still included him in every conversation.” 

Helen helped create a care plan and checked in with the family regularly. “She explained what to expect, answered every question, and made sure Trev was comfortable. I knew what was coming, but emotionally, I needed her reassurance. We all did.” 

Trevor died peacefully 26 days later, at home, as he’d wished. 

“We couldn’t have done it without them”

Looking back, Linda says she couldn’t have coped through those final weeks without the support of Ashgate’s nurses. 

“It was like we had our own little bubble, but I know Helen and the team were caring for many other families too. They never made us feel like a burden. They always had time for us. 

“They gave Trev the best care. And they gave me the strength to keep going.” 

Helping others understand hospice care

Since Trevor’s death, four of Linda’s friends have received Ashgate’s support. Each one has said the same, that it made all the difference. 

“I think some people hear ‘hospice’ and panic. They think it’s only about dying. But it’s not. It’s about living well, being supported, and not feeling alone. 

“It’s not just the medical side, it’s the kindness. The dignity. The way they listen and involve you, not talk over you. That’s what matters.” 

Why Linda keeps giving back

Linda now does everything she can to support Ashgate, from marshalling at events, to holding afternoon teas, buying remembrance gifts, and signing up for the hospice lottery. 

“I can’t run or climb mountains, but I can help. I want to make sure other families can get the support we did. Because I know how much it matters.” 

Hospice care matters – and it needs our support

Less than a third of Ashgate’s income comes from the NHS, and that percentage is reducing each year. The rest, £11 million every year, must be raised through fundraising and donations. 

Linda’s message is simple: “If you can help, please do. Because when the worst happens, and you’re scared, and someone you love is dying, Ashgate is there. And you’ll never forget that kindness.”