A Bolsover woman is backing Ashgate Hospice’s urgent appeal to protect its vital end of life care services, after the charity helped her husband live with dignity and comfort in his final months. 

“Hearing that Ashgate might have to cut back breaks my heart,” says Tricia Clough. “They made an unbearable situation bearable for me and Dave, and everyone deserves that same care.” 

Tricia is now backing the Act Now for Ashgate appeal, urging others to help secure the future of the hospice’s vital services. “The support we had was incredible,” she adds.  

“The staff were always at the end of the phone, and we had regular Zoom calls with his consultant. That helped even though they could not visit during lockdown. They were calm, respectful and so kind. Ashgate didn’t just care for Dave, they cared for me too. It felt like having a calm, steady hand guiding us through the storm.” 

A life of adventure, calm and care 

When Tricia Clough’s husband Dave was diagnosed with mesothelioma, their world turned upside down. It was August 2020, right in the middle of the pandemic, and just weeks earlier, they’d been enjoying their very first cruise together.   

What followed were three short months filled with worry, heartbreak, and an overwhelming determination to honour Dave’s wishes, to be at home, in the place he loved most, with Tricia by his side.  

Tricia and Dave had been married for over 30 years. They met at Clowne Youth Club, where Dave had been asked to cover maternity leave in addition to his job in Shirebrook.  

“I fell for him instantly,” Tricia smiles. “Everyone told me he was a confirmed bachelor, but I think he just hadn’t met the right person.”  

Dave was adored by all who knew him. Calm, thoughtful and endlessly kind, he brought a quiet strength to every situation.  

“He was my rock,” says Tricia. “Where I was the organiser, he was the steady one. Nothing ever fazed him.”  

Dave had spent time in the Intelligence Corps and later became a youth and community worker then education officer before the couple became full-time foster carers. He was particularly proud to be one of the few male primary carers in the 1990s, even writing a thesis on the challenges foster children face from the perspective of a male carer, which was so well regarded that Nottingham University asked to keep a copy in their library.  

His passions were many: travel, Scouting, gardening, wild camping, and his faith. A devout Catholic, he rarely missed a service. He even grew edible flowers to help Tricia enjoy her salads while dieting, and never bought her flowers, preferring to grow them instead.  

“On our first Valentine’s Day, he made a heart from petals with our initials,” Tricia recalls. “That was Dave, thoughtful and creative. The clematis he trained to drape over our cherry bush is in bloom right now. I like to think that’s him, still looking after me.”

A diagnosis during lockdown  

Dave’s illness came as a shock. After returning from their cruise, he developed a persistent cough. With the country in lockdown, face-to-face medical care was limited. It took several rounds of antibiotics and a hospital emergency appointment before a young locum spotted something wasn’t right.  

The next day, Dave was sent for tests. On 13 August 2020, he was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a terminal cancer linked to asbestos exposure. He was told he had just three months to live.  

And three months later, on 13 November, Dave died at home in the village of Glapwell, aged 69.  

Hospice care that brought peace and comfort  

Ashgate’s community team became involved soon after the diagnosis. They helped Tricia and Dave prepare for what was to come, emotionally, practically, and medically.  

As Dave’s condition worsened, he became more fatigued and needed more help at home. The hospice team worked with Tricia to make sure his symptoms were managed and that he was as comfortable as possible.  

“He would often just potter in the garden, even in those final weeks,” she remembers. “That was his place of peace, and Ashgate helped make that possible. They never took over. They just fitted in, supporting both of us with such gentleness and dignity. The nurses were always so gentle and respectful. They didn’t just treat symptoms; they treated us like family.”  

“They made an unbearable situation bearable”  

Looking back, Tricia says she can’t imagine how she’d have coped without Ashgate’s support.  

“There was a lot of fear, not just of the illness, but of doing things wrong. The hospice gave me confidence. They explained what was happening, they listened, and they gave us both the reassurance we needed. They never rushed us or made us feel like a burden. It was all about dignity and kindness.”  

Dave’s death was peaceful. He was in his own bed, close to the garden he loved, surrounded by family and Tricia holding his hand.  

“He died exactly how he wanted to, and that means everything to me. Even when things got hard, I always knew someone was just a phone call away. That made all the difference. Having Ashgate there made the impossible feel a little more possible.”  

Speaking up for hospice care  

Since Dave’s death, Tricia has thrown herself into community work. She runs local writing and craft groups, is a trustee for the East Midlands’ Asbestos Support Team (EMAST), and volunteers for cultural events in her village of Glapwell. She’s busier than ever, but always finds time to share her story. She has even written a children’s book about the importance of sharing memories when someone is terminally ill.  

“I want people to understand what hospice care really means,” she says. “It’s not just for the final hours. It’s about support, listening, dignity, and helping people live well for as long as they can.”  

Hospice care matters – and it needs our support  

Rising costs, increasing demand, and the fact that the local NHS only pays for just 50% of the care it commissions from Ashgate have led to an unsustainable financial situation, with the charity’s reserves becoming critically low. Proposed changes could put 52 roles at risk and reduce inpatient beds from 15 to just six. 

“People think hospices are sad places, but I think of Ashgate with gratitude,” says Tricia. “Because in the darkest time of my life, they gave me light. They gave Dave reassurance and information. And they gave me memories I’ll always treasure.” 

Your support through the Act Now for Ashgate appeal will help ensure that more people like Dave and Tricia can be cared for with the same dignity, comfort and compassion when they need it most.