Sue's Story

‘Ashgate Hospice was like a different world’: Family backs Dragonfly Appeal after grandmother’s compassionate care.

Soulmates Barry and Sue Hancock met on a blind date in 1968 – six weeks later they were engaged. 

They went on to share more than 50 years together, raising children and then later becoming grandparents.  

But in later years, Sue’s health began to decline. What started as rheumatoid arthritis in her 40s eventually led to complications from her medication, including high blood pressure, diabetes and liver scarring. 

Sue, from Brimington, near Chesterfield, was later diagnosed with terminal heart failure before she died at Ashgate Hospice’s Inpatient Unit on 25th August 2023, aged 77. 

She spent two stays as a patient on the ward at the Old Brampton hospice, both of which Barry says were “happy” and “wonderful” experiences.  

Barry and his daughter Clare are supporting Ashgate’s Dragonfly Appeal, which is being launched at the Chatsworth Estate, to help raise vital funds for end-of-life care in North Derbyshire. 

“The care was just so loving,” said the 81-year-old grandfather. “We all assumed the hospice was where you go to die, but it’s where you go to live.  

“It’s not a place of doom and gloom and there’s absolutely nothing that people need to be afraid of. 

“You feel so relaxed going through that door and it’s like entering a different world. All the chaos is left behind and you’re in this kind, loving, supportive atmosphere. 

“It wasn’t just Sue, they took care of our whole family. Every nurse, doctor, cleaner, cafe worker made the effort to get to know us.” 

Sue, an avid music and gardening enthusiast, worked with animals on a farm before becoming a housewife when her children Nicky and Clare arrived. 

When her illness became incurable, she received support and advice at home from the hospice’s Palliative Care Specialist Nurse team before later being admitted to the hospice. 

Despite arriving in poor health after contracting Covid and being incredibly weak, Sue’s condition improved under Ashgate’s care, and she was able to return home weeks later to spend more time at home with her family. 

Later in the year, Sue was admitted to Ashgate for the final time, but Barry says they were able to make special memories together as a family.  

“We knew the inevitable was to come,” he said. “We thought more quickly than it did.  

“But we had an overwhelming feeling of thank goodness we’re here – being at the hospice felt like home. It was so serene and calm. 

“One of Sue’s favourite moments was being wheeled out to the hospice garden. Her face lit up and it brightened. 

“I couldn’t speak more highly of our experience.” 

Since Sue’s death, Barry has received support from the hospice’s Supportive Care team who have helped guide him through his grief. 

Now Barry and Clare are supporting the hospice as ambassadors for its upcoming Dragonfly Appeal. 

Clare, 50, who has since started volunteering on the Inpatient Unit where Sue was cared for, added: “The care was just phenomenal and completely priceless. It’s about tailoring the care to the patient and their needs; bringing in the family and making sure they’re cared for too. 

“The hospice oozes warmth and you can feel it coming through the walls, and it’s all about love and laughter. 

“Mum absolutely loved visiting Chatsworth, so she’d be astounded to know her name is associated with the Dragonfly Appeal. 

“We will be forever grateful for what the hospice did for us and want to do everything we can do to ensure Ashgate can be there for families in the future. 

“I hope other families will consider joining us in remembering someone special with a beautiful dragonfly keepsake, ensuring that the hospice can continue to support people like my mum for years to come.” 

Ashgate Hospice is inviting supporters to dedicate a dragonfly in memory of someone special. The stainless steel, handcrafted dragonfly is available for a suggested donation of £30 each.  

The dragonflies will form part of a stunning display in the picturesque grounds of Chatsworth between 1 May and 22 May.  

You can dedicate a dragonfly online, or call our Fundraising team on 01246 567 250.